How To Make Difficult Decisions

For any of you out there having difficult making a decision, I suggest putting off making the decision until there is only one option left, and then there you go!

At least that is what I did with the big debate about sending Gabe to preschool. I know, he's not even 2 yet, but here he is standard starting age. The school year runs from March to December, and all kids that will turn two before the end of June start in the two year old class in March. All preschools are three hours a day (morning or afternoon turn) five days a week. While some are public, the majority are private and cost anywhere from 130 to 400 pesos a month.

I have been throwing around the idea of sending Gabe in my mind since about last November. There are no play groups, no mommy-and-me clubs, no gymboree kids groups, no daycare at the gym, or anything of that nature here. The only music class around is the one I teach, and I do it FREE, and I'm lucky if one other kid shows up. So basically, Gabe and I spent ALL DAY together, with NO OTHER kid/mom friends to break it up. I felt like he really needed more social interaction.

However, he just seems so young for preschool. He's going to learn bad/annoying habits from the other kids, probably bad words, and what kind of stay-at-home mom sends her kid to preschool before he's even two?? I mulled around and weighed all these aspects for a few months. By the time February rolled around, I had decided that if I couldn't start getting out to go to the gym a few times a week and a couple of other things, I would be clinically insane. An insanity never did prove a good mothering quality. Thus I set out to sign him up. For about three weeks, I pounded the pavement all around our neighborhood stopping at every preschool to check it out, find out if there was space, etc. They were all closed. Seriously, I couldn't find a living person at ANY of them.

The last week of February, the last week before I knew classes began, I started finding live people to answer my questions. And this is what they said "sorry, no more space." "nope, no more space" "ah no, you're too late". I was seriously frustrated. How did other people sing up their kids if I couldn't even find anyone to talk to?? But at the very last option (a few blocks farther than I really wanted to walk) there was space. Money was paid, child was registered, I didn't even ask the standard questions like what's the child/teacher ratio and how do you discipline and what are you teaching methods. He's not even two, and he's only there for three hours. What can really happen??

So last Monday Gabe started preschool. He seems to really like all the toys and the other kids, with one caveat: I remain present in the room. Monday all the parents stayed with the kids and we did activities. Tuesday I stayed 20 minutes then left him long enough to go to a pilates class and they called me because he was crying inconsolably. Wed. I was exhausted and it was pouring rain so I didn't take him. Thursday I stayed 40 minutes and left him 20 - cried almost the whole time. Friday I didn't enter, but only left him 30 minutes. The teacher said he cried, but there was notable progress. When we show up, he's all excited, wants to go in and play....until he figures out I'm not going in as well.

Will this get better?? Who will be more emotionally damaged - me if I don't get some alone time or Gabe if he's forced to be seperated from the extension of himself = me?

While you ponder that, let me what with you the list of items I was required to provide Gabe with to attend preschool:

A backpack containing:

• plate and a cup
• a placemat and a napkin
• a towel for drying his hands that has elastic to go around his neck
• liquid hand soap in a pump container
• a cover-up shirt for painting
• a notebook with a blue cover for communications with the teacher

Seriously? Isn't it just easier to stock the bathrooms with papertowels and buy a big thing of soap for everyone to share?? Or even ask the parents to take turns providing paper towels and soap each month?? Are you seriously going to go to each kids' backpack and get out his individual soap and towel every time he needs to wash his hands?? And let's talk about the placemat and napkin...I asked if I could just put in a pack of paper napkins, you know, the DISPOSIBLE kind? "um, well, if you could just get him a cloth napkin and placemat then he'll have it for the whole year." Yeah, and I have to take it out and wash it every night! I ignored them and shoved in a pack of cheap paper napkins.

And please note that I refused to buy him a "character" backpack with backyardigans or winnie the pooh or something on it, and instead settled for nice plain blue one. I won't cave to characters before he can even ask for them!!