How To Make Difficult Decisions

For any of you out there having difficult making a decision, I suggest putting off making the decision until there is only one option left, and then there you go!

At least that is what I did with the big debate about sending Gabe to preschool. I know, he's not even 2 yet, but here he is standard starting age. The school year runs from March to December, and all kids that will turn two before the end of June start in the two year old class in March. All preschools are three hours a day (morning or afternoon turn) five days a week. While some are public, the majority are private and cost anywhere from 130 to 400 pesos a month.

I have been throwing around the idea of sending Gabe in my mind since about last November. There are no play groups, no mommy-and-me clubs, no gymboree kids groups, no daycare at the gym, or anything of that nature here. The only music class around is the one I teach, and I do it FREE, and I'm lucky if one other kid shows up. So basically, Gabe and I spent ALL DAY together, with NO OTHER kid/mom friends to break it up. I felt like he really needed more social interaction.

However, he just seems so young for preschool. He's going to learn bad/annoying habits from the other kids, probably bad words, and what kind of stay-at-home mom sends her kid to preschool before he's even two?? I mulled around and weighed all these aspects for a few months. By the time February rolled around, I had decided that if I couldn't start getting out to go to the gym a few times a week and a couple of other things, I would be clinically insane. An insanity never did prove a good mothering quality. Thus I set out to sign him up. For about three weeks, I pounded the pavement all around our neighborhood stopping at every preschool to check it out, find out if there was space, etc. They were all closed. Seriously, I couldn't find a living person at ANY of them.

The last week of February, the last week before I knew classes began, I started finding live people to answer my questions. And this is what they said "sorry, no more space." "nope, no more space" "ah no, you're too late". I was seriously frustrated. How did other people sing up their kids if I couldn't even find anyone to talk to?? But at the very last option (a few blocks farther than I really wanted to walk) there was space. Money was paid, child was registered, I didn't even ask the standard questions like what's the child/teacher ratio and how do you discipline and what are you teaching methods. He's not even two, and he's only there for three hours. What can really happen??

So last Monday Gabe started preschool. He seems to really like all the toys and the other kids, with one caveat: I remain present in the room. Monday all the parents stayed with the kids and we did activities. Tuesday I stayed 20 minutes then left him long enough to go to a pilates class and they called me because he was crying inconsolably. Wed. I was exhausted and it was pouring rain so I didn't take him. Thursday I stayed 40 minutes and left him 20 - cried almost the whole time. Friday I didn't enter, but only left him 30 minutes. The teacher said he cried, but there was notable progress. When we show up, he's all excited, wants to go in and play....until he figures out I'm not going in as well.

Will this get better?? Who will be more emotionally damaged - me if I don't get some alone time or Gabe if he's forced to be seperated from the extension of himself = me?

While you ponder that, let me what with you the list of items I was required to provide Gabe with to attend preschool:

A backpack containing:

• plate and a cup
• a placemat and a napkin
• a towel for drying his hands that has elastic to go around his neck
• liquid hand soap in a pump container
• a cover-up shirt for painting
• a notebook with a blue cover for communications with the teacher

Seriously? Isn't it just easier to stock the bathrooms with papertowels and buy a big thing of soap for everyone to share?? Or even ask the parents to take turns providing paper towels and soap each month?? Are you seriously going to go to each kids' backpack and get out his individual soap and towel every time he needs to wash his hands?? And let's talk about the placemat and napkin...I asked if I could just put in a pack of paper napkins, you know, the DISPOSIBLE kind? "um, well, if you could just get him a cloth napkin and placemat then he'll have it for the whole year." Yeah, and I have to take it out and wash it every night! I ignored them and shoved in a pack of cheap paper napkins.

And please note that I refused to buy him a "character" backpack with backyardigans or winnie the pooh or something on it, and instead settled for nice plain blue one. I won't cave to characters before he can even ask for them!!

Gabe 21 months

pre haircut. demonstrating his helpfulness in the kitchen. If I'm cooking/washing dishes/etc. so is he!

I feel like I haven't been updating much about Gabe, and since I have no other record of his childhood I should be making a better effort. So here are all the humorous and not-so-much idiosyncracies of the 21-month old Gabriel.

He is in love with me. Obsessively so. He feels the need to be at least partially attached to my body all day long. He also loves his dad, and he has no greater conflict in life then when we are going seperate directions and he can't be in two places at one time. Whichever one he is with, he is crying for the other. Vacation was great for him because all three of us were always together!

eating his Valentine's cookie.

He is in constant motion. Seriously, this kid does not EVER sit still. Church and car trips are expecially trying and I'm always wondering if we can't take our favorite car trick - the portable DVD - to church with us. If I play a church video very quietly would that be acceptable in Sacrament meeting??

He has been folding his arms now for a while when we pray - or at least putting one hand on the elbow of the opposite arm in what may be considered a vulgar gesture in some countries, but we accept for reverence. He now blesses mama, papa, yaya (abuela), deo, nana, nona, tias and bipu. Bipu is what he calls his cousin Victoria. We have no idea who nona is, but it seems to be the male equivalent of nana, which I feel is acceptable for grandpa.

in the plaza in Colon, with the same robot Mario played on as a child.

He can also identify Jesus, which he just calls "G". They're home boys apparently and whole names are not required.

The bilingual experiment continues. His vocabulary is growing daily, and he continues to learn most individual words in english - moon, star, all the body parts, door, bath, meat, wower/flower, etc. but his phrases tend to be Spanish. "ya esta" = all done and "no hay mas" = all gone. He calls all little children "nenes" = boys, and he is very social with other kids - as long as I am within eyesight. He continues saying "gracias" all the time and I love it, and while he has been saying the bilingual "no" for quite some time, he recently started saying "si" as well. So yes and thank you lose out for now. While he says "fshy fshy and tua = tortuga = turtle, most other animals he identifies by their sound only, but you can ask him about any animal in either language and he responds to both.

He likes me to allow him to walk while we prowl around the neighborhood, but I must be feeling VERY patient and have absolutely no time constraints in order for this to take place because EVERY SINGLE door we pass, he has to stand on the door step, then sit down on it, tell me that the cement/granite/tiles are "cold", then lay down on the step, then get up and proceed to the next step. People passing who happen to catch this routine stop to tell me my child is tired. My child is not tired, he is strange.

He still loves his "gooks" = books.

He continues to be a good sleeper - average of 12 hours a night and a 2-3 hour nap, no problems going down to sleep. And although he has successfully climbed out of his bed and regularly climbs into it, other than that one time he has never tried to get out of bed on his own again.

He likes his "meme"=milk in a bottle. Please do not try to fool him with all those fancy sippy cups and insulated straw cups and other trappings, he just wants it in a bottle, preferably this old crappy one that I think is left over from his cousin and spills milk EVERYWHERE and that he holds with one hand on the bottom.

He likes to climb into the space between the window and the bars and play there. What, your windows don't have bars??? Clearly you are depriving your child!

Imelda Make Way

I returned home from my vacation a few weeks ago with NINE new pairs of shoes. Nine. It was amazing. The tennis shoes were a gift from Mario, a couple I bought, and the rest all came courtesty of the most amazing friend ever - Tammy. Tammy took heart after my post about shoe shopping deprivation and single-handedly tried to alleviate my suffering.

These adorable little grey numbers are perfect because the have the perfect amount of wedge heel. Just enough to be cute, small enough to be comfortable. I have already been wearing them a ton.
Gabe is modeling some great black peep-toes that he finds very stylish and comfortable.And these quasi-biker boots will hopefully help me be stylish this winter. Now that the trend is 4 seasons old, I am feeling significant pressure to wear my jeans tucked into my boots. All my other boots had too skinny of legs to allow for jeans to be inside. These have wider legs and comfy wedge heels. I am a big fan of wedge heels. I walk a lot and kids are heavy.

Happy shoes to you! May you all have friends in life like Tammy!

Can't Vacation Last Forever?

Re-entry is hard, especially after such a fantastic vacation.

We spent the first 3 days in Caracas with Linsey and Kenny. Caracas is beautiful and they are the best hosts ever, but "Chavezland" has debilitating traffic and much of downtown and public transportation is dangerous, so our sight seeing was limited.

We then all headed to Curacao, and since there wasn't much to do in Caracas Mario and I added on two days in Aruba before heading back to Caracas.

Now, after I have spent hours uploading all these pictures, I realize that I should have just made a slide show so I don't torture the minimally-interested. But now that I've already invested all this time Gabe will be waking up from his nap any minute now so I just need to get this done. Thus, these are in no particular order:

The amazing view from Linsey & Kenny's apartment in Caracas. But seriously, so hilly Mario was practically carsick any time we had to leave the house.

The cablecar we took to the top of El Avila National Park. Much faster than driving through the insane traffic!

mimicking the airplanes on the trip back from Aruba

Our amazing dinner in a little hut on the beach in Aruba. It was one of those "is this my life or am I dreaming" kind of moments.

Mario playing beach voleyball

Gabe and I playing in the pool waterfall

Mario and the amazing white sand beaches in Aruba.

Relaxing in the hotel pool while Gabe napped.

Gabe playing in the sand at Baby Beach. It was super shallow for quite a distance, and so I would walk out with him and he would call "fishy fishy" and with the help of a few bread crumbs, colorful fish would start swirling all around our legs. He loved it.

Relaxing on the amazing bed at our B&B in Aruba.

Checking out the Marriott beach in Curacao.

Great Indonesian food for dinner in Curacao.

Gabe having a great time throwing seaweed.

Mario at Mambo beach, with the final stages of facial hair before it all came off. (He wanted to grow a beard, but the hair broke the seal on the snorkeling mask so water kept leaking in.)

Gabe throwing rocks in his little european-style swimsuit.

The snorkeling was amazing.

The aquarium in Curacao wasn't as nice as Monterey, but we got to touch sharks,

sea anemones

sea slugs

tortoises

and sting rays. We were stinky when we left.

Mario at Jan Theil beach in Curacao.

The beach is so much more enjoyable when you get a little cabana/bed to rest on!

Mario and Gabe playing in the kids play area with water pumped in from the sea.

Enjoying the private beach by our villa in Curacao.

As soon as we arrived we could smell the ocean.

Feeding the geese at the Parque del Este in Caracas.

Who's scarier - me or the lizard??

Crazy propaganda all over the city that is part of Chavez's path to totalitarian dictator. Read Linsey's post here for more explanation.

Gabe and Isaac demonstrating "parallel play". Gabe loved Isaac and Caleb and their amazing "play room".

Checking out the birds at the artisan market in El Hatillo.

Colorful colonial architecture in El Hatillo.

more artisan market

crazy poor "barrios" that literally cover the hills around Caracas. The level of poverty was astounding, even for us. The view from the top of El Avila wasn't so great due to the clouds...

Linsey and I checking out a little market.